Does Your Child Carry Their Flag or Yours?

How many times have we heard proud parents boast about their child’s success or achievement?  It is wonderful to be proud of our children, but as a parent you have to ask yourself, is it for them or you?

Too many times we see parents who push their child to become the sports hero or beauty queen that they longed for but were not able to achieve.  Whether by physical or academic shortcomings, they see an opportunity to realize their dreams through their children.  Is this you?  Take a good long look in the mirror.  Is it for them or is it for you?

I know that I believed my own small physical stature prevented me from excelling in sports, but as a young father I was very careful not to have my son carry the flag that I was not able to.  Luckily my son’s mother shared the sentiment.  We saw others who pushed their children down paths that they really didn’t want to go.  It was really kind of ugly.

How much this screws up a child’s mind is dependent of each circumstance I guess.  There have been many cases where the children grow up and unravel at some point.  They will eventually rebel.  Maybe through drugs, alcohol, or completely disowning their parents; whatever the means, they will rebel.  Parents may be able to make robots out of their children, but eventually they grow up to have a mind of their own.  They will evaluate their circumstance and make their own decisions.

There is a distinct difference between guiding your child and pushing them.  We may push our child to do their homework and finish chores.  Those are responsibilities that they must learn to have a solid foundation as adults.  Do we need to push them to carry our flag?  Will that make them better human beings?